I was teaching a class this week. It was one in the series on embodiment, and it was about how to increase the capacity for, and experience of pleasure in the body. 

That morning I woke constricted, nauseous, and agitated. At first I thought I didn't sleep well. I was reading news about Ukraine, worrying about my family in Poland, reliving the times of cold war, and raging at the history repeating itself in the macabre rendition of the Groundhog Day. 

But as I was guiding my body through the internal sensations, as I exercised, danced, moved, and shook my body in the attempt to complete the stress cycle,  I realized what it was. It was shame. 

The internal conflict between standing in witness, solidarity and support of people who are homeless, or dying in the name of greed and power, and a deep reverence for life that invites celebration of pleasure, joy and beauty. 

To talk of, or indulge in pleasure seemed selfish, inconsiderate, and crass.

But pleasure is not an indulgence. It is not a luxury we must earn, or deny ourselves in order to gain a higher moral ground. It is an expression of the range of our humanity and to manipulate it in accordance to moral judgments and expectations of public opinion, is to deny ourselves this range.

This is the toxic conditioning, and what we’ve been taught, that we must suppress pleasure, as if our suffering was helping others, even if only by letting those who suffer know, that the whole world is miserable in solidarity. But my pain doesn’t alleviate your pain.

So as I cried on the floor, pinned under the weight of conditioned shame, I made a decision.

To continue my work. Not to bypass, or pander rainbows and ponies, but to CHOOSE a state of being that can heal, that can give us access to wisdom, to connection, to kindness and to joy. My pleasure makes me stronger, smarter, more energized, more motivated, more confident, and more effective, so I CAN be resourced enough to show up as a friend, as support, as an advocate, and as a champion when you need me.

So I taught a class on pleasure, and will continue empowering women to stand strong and CHOOSE what feels good to them, over what doesn’t.

Because for most people pleasure feels good. Love feels good. Kindness feels good. Compassion feels good. Connection feels good, and Peace feels good.

So we will continue our Pleasure Revolution no matter what is happening in the world, as a reminder of our wholeness, the choices we have, and the gifts of life that we get to be stewards of.